gratitude

i juz want to say that it has been really heartwarming to see the support from frens n family.

my relatives have really been very supportive, coming down to accompany my mother, cos her two children cant really commit as much time due to exam commitments.

not that preparing really helps anyway, i screwed up the first paper on sat. and halfway thru the paper, i was already brain dead.. blank.. everything looked so familiar but still, my mind wouldnt work. there is a high chance that i da bao this module.. and after the paper, i juz felt like hiding from everyone.. even in the midst of such exam times, i wouldnt want me to affect anyone else, esp my supportive jen. moreover, i couldnt bear going over to the ward and lying to everyone that the paper was ok.. i just felt super tired n depressed .. me n zw even stoned and kept walking until we dunno where we are.. if wj din call me and sort of jolt me out of my escapist mood when i was at the petrol station, i would have most probably holed myself somewhere..

but then it was good that u guys came over to the hospital.. then got dr lin, acting so pro infront of my mother.. i cheered up upon seeing everyone as i decided to just get over the stupid exam..

still, this feeling of helplessness, waiting and impatience is getting frustrating.. i appreciate the goodwill and concern and i definitely know that the main thing i can do is to do well for my exams.. easier said than done.. but then apparently i know everyone knows what is best for me...

at least, now that everything is stablized, and there are improving signs, my life can gain back a little bit of normalcy .. i even watched a bit of soccer last night after missing the whole champs league. then today's study session had its typical bits of laughter and gossip and badmouthing..

what can i say? i m juz grateful for all the support from frens n family.